Who knew a 24-hour gym was such a big deal? 24-Hour Fitness has gyms all over the state: the greater Los Angeles area, the Bay Area, Santa Cruz, the Sacramento Valley, San Diego area, and in Santa Barbara

But there isn’t one in the Santa Ynez Valley, which has a YMCA that wants to keep a fitness room open overnight, past 8 p.m. Sounds benign, right?

A couple of neighbors disagree. Frank Betts and Deanna Harwood appealed the proposal to the Santa Barbara County Planning Commission due to concerns about onsite safety, security, noise, light, and setting a precedent in the county. Umm, the county already has several Planet Fitness and Anytime Fitness locations that are open 24 hours a day. 

“There is no 24-hour unsupervised fitness organization in Santa Barbara County. That’s what makes it precedent-setting,” Betts said during a June 26 hearing, not knowing (I guess) that there’s a gym exactly like that in Orcutt.

Betts said he was concerned about safety—unsuspecting victims getting attacked in the parking lot that he also doesn’t want lights on overnight. Umm, if I went to the gym in the middle of the night, I would be on high alert and would absolutely want a well-lit parking lot to be my guide.

Fourth District Commissioner Roy Reed, who makes the best comments, said the issues Betts and Harwood had with the YMCA seemed more like a list of previous grievances than anything. 

“Some of your assertions about staff and their operational expertise seemed to me to be a little bit personal,” Reed said. “They don’t really seem to be what I would expect.”

Betts pointed out that he’d complained about the outdoor Zumba and spin classes the Y held during COVID-19—the music was deafening, apparently, and aimed “straight into our backyard.” Sounds like the YMCA is out to get you guys and not in the business of providing an affordable place for fitness. 

Obviously, those classes aren’t going on anymore, because COVID-19 restrictions are no longer in place. It’s an example of irresponsible management, Betts insinuated. 

Reed wasn’t convinced about who the irresponsible party was and referred to a photo submitted of one of the outdoor Zumba classes.

“Where were you standing? Did those women know you were peeping over the fence taking their picture?” Reed asked, making a salient, subversive, satirical point that made me cackle, which was wrong of me–I’m sorry.

This whole unsupervised business, though, was also a hot topic just down the road in Buellton—a city concerned about unmanned hotels and what it means for safety. Apparently, adults are children who need to be supervised! 

The emerging trend brought about by Airbnbs—the downfall of residential communities everywhere—had to be addressed thanks to a certain unnamed hotel operator in town. 

“It would be prudent to address this issue for any future hotel operators as well as for the current hotel operator in question,” Planning Director Andrea Keefer said at the Buellton City Council’s June 27 meeting. 

The hotel-operator-who-shall-not-be-named has a spot functioning as any other hotel or motel would, except the manager is off-site. 

“Is this an acceptable practice in Buellton?” City Manager Scott Wolfe asked. 

Sounds like it just might be.

The Canary is never supervised. Send comments to [email protected].

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