Hello, faithful Sun readers! Happy Hanukkah, Happy Kwanza, and Merry (almost) Christmas! As is tradition, in honor of our annual Last-Minute Gift Guide issue, I’m going to write a little roundup on what our local leaders could use this holiday season.
But before I do that, I’d like to talk about what’s been going on with the Santa Barbara County Board of Supervisors. If you don’t already know, things have been a little … tense.
It’s no secret the northern and southern portions of this fair county are like two separate worlds, with differing political, economical, and social views. This regional divide got stretched to the limit about two weeks ago when the supervisors voted 3-2 along north-south lines to approve Santa Maria Energy’s proposed well-expansion project—along with a 10,000 metric ton threshold for greenhouse gas emissions.
The crux of the argument came down to protecting the environment versus preserving North County’s already faltering economy, with droves of people showing up for both sides.
That passion—and obvious feeling of disconnect—has continued to surface at other Board of Supervisors meetings and in the Sun’s own opinion pages.
Last week, the Fearsome Five voted 5-0 to spend $272,000 on a short-term funding plan for the Santa Maria jail substation, which has been booking prisoners on a limited basis since 2011. The staffing shortage has put a significant burden on local law enforcement officers, who are forced to leave the area for up to hours at a time to transport prisoners to the main jail in Goleta.
All of the supervisors agreed that this was a public health and safety issue that desperately needed to be addressed—and none of them appeared to be very happy with Sheriff Bill Brown.
Santa Barbara’s Janet Wolf sternly asked Brown why he didn’t ask for more money back during the budget hearings in June (he said county officials made it very clear that he was to present a “status quo” budget with no new expenses). Fourth District Supervisor Peter Adam, meanwhile, grudgingly approved the allocation, but said county departments need to accept some “fiscal responsibility. “For us to bail you out, if you will, is dangerous,” Adam told Brown, who responded, “I don’t see it as you bailing me out. I see it as you doing what needed to be done back in the day, but we just didn’t have the funds for it.”
Then, right before the final vote, Wolf referenced “the decision that was made about two weeks ago, or whatever” and the corresponding stress it created.
She called on everyone to move past it, saying, “We are one county and we will look out for each other. We may disagree over small issues, and big issues, but the bottom line is we’re all in this together.”
But judging by the opinion piece Supervisor Adam wrote in this week’s issue of the Sun (here’s a direct quote: “We have three supervisors who … share an elitist set of attitudes that makes them comfortable enacting command and control regulatory requirements.”) that remains to be seen. This time he’s sounding off about their decision on the Gaviota Coast Community Plan.
But, enough of that. On with the gift list!
As I write this last-minute gift list, Christmas is still 15 days away—though it’s fewer than that as you’re reading this. Considering how close it is, I’m sure you’ve already finished your shopping for your beloved family members and respected friends.
But did you think about the other people in your lives? The people who make decisions that impact you every day?
I didn’t think so. Fortunately, it’s not too late to go shopping for them.
Spinning off of what I’ve already written, I’ll start by suggesting a large batch of Krazy Glue for the Santa Barbara County supervisors. Something has to hold this county together, considering the rift between the north and the south, and even if literal glue isn’t going to do the trick, it could at least serve as a symbolic reminder of the ties—or sticky chemical concoctions—that bind. You could give each supervisor his or her own individual container, but buying one large pot for them to use collectively will encourage sharing, teamwork, and cooperation.
On a sort of related note, consider getting a batch of clams for Santa Maria Energy. Or some asparagus. Maybe an artichoke. Anything, really, that needs to be steamed. You might think I’m referencing the byproduct that comes from heating water—emissions the company would produce at levels the majority of our supervisors don’t want to deal with—but I think the company’s owners and directors have enough of the stuff coming out of their ears after how they’ve been treated by local leadership. They might as well be able to put it to good use!
For the Santa Maria-Bonita School District, the Orcutt Union School District, and other districts, bodies, agencies, and the like: Wish them an end to conflict. Give them a silent night, and they’ll be happy, I’m sure. Peace on Earth, goodwill toward men, war is over and all that.
Abel Maldonado is easy. All he’d like is your vote as he campaigns for governor. Or you could get him a few hours with a CPA so someone can help him with his taxes.
In all your shopping, don’t forget Lois Capps, who’s—yes—up for re-election again. The pool of contenders ready to face her is growing, but I’m sure she’s not concerned. She’s an institution at this point, a force like gravity. She’s inevitable. So what do you get her? Let me know if you think of anything, because I’m stumped.
The Canary never had two front teeth. Send comments and ideas to [email protected].
